if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
