and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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