You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
