do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
