It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
