maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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