it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
