I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize