do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
