could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize