Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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