eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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