Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
