yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
