butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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