We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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