There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
