So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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