there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize