At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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