I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize