she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
