you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My vagina is officially offended.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize