NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
should my penis look like a turkey
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
