dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
