yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
