Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
