i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
