Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
