I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
