HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
