Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
