oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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