We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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