Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
