I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
