This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
