She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize