So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize