I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
