I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Did I show you my penis last night?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
