I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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