so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
