If that was your dad, he is hot
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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