fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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