i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize