At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
