No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
