why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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