I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize