so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
