Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize