WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize