How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
