Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
