you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
