Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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