I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
