I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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