He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize