I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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