You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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