kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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