my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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