i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
