I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize