I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We left the knife in your bed.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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